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Writing Samples /
Band 5

2.The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Social)

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #costs #government #expenditure #money #road #development
The
restoration
 of historical
buildings
 in main urban areas
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
worldwide
Replace the word
world
show examples
 costs enormous government spending .
This
money
 should be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new housing and highways improvement. I totally agree with
this
 statement because
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
 more
money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 construct
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new
homes
 and
roads
 can provide vital services for individuals
as well as
 society.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why I believe the authorities should allocate
money
 for
build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
 more
homes
 and
roads
 rather than
restoration
 of old
buildings
. Regarding housing,
people
 in recent time struggle to owing
homes
.
This
 is because the price of
homes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cities is extremely expensive .
Therefore
, if the government allocate more funds for
build
Change the form of the verb
building
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new housing
instead
 of
restoration
Correct article usage
the restoration
show examples
 of historical
buildings
this
 step can contribute to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 the price of
homes
 affordable for
people
 , which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 more
people
 will
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 houses. When it comes to
roads
,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
 more funding for highways can contribute to
address
Change the verb form
addressing
show examples
 the issue of
traffic
 congestion. To illustrate,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
 more
money
 for
roads
 mean more improvements in
roads
, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it more wide.
Consequently
, wide
roads
 mean
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
traffic
 jams.
Furthermore
, road development can contribute to
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 the safety
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
roads
.
For example
, if the government make improvements
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
sings
Correct your spelling
signs
show examples
 and the quality of
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 materials can lead to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 the cars accidents.
As a result
,
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
 funding for
highways
Change the noun form
highway
show examples
 development rather than
restoration
 of old
buildings
 can help to save lives.
To sum up
, I strongly believe
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocating
show examples
money
 for
construct
Change the verb form
constructing
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new
homes
 and
roads
 is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
better than
restoration
Add an article
the restoration
a restoration
show examples
 of historical
buildings
 because it will make houses accessible for
people
, and solve the issue related
traffic
Change preposition
to traffic
show examples
 jams
as well as
 safety on our
roads
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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  • take, for example

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