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Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, the majority of
food
 and drink companies incorporate high content of sugar into their product.
On the other hand
, many
people
 are unaware of high sugar levels which cause a lot of disadvantages for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health. I completely agree if the governments increase the price of the product has high sugar.
However
, it
is not be
Change the verb form
is not
show examples
 only one solution because the government
also
 can give education
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
 in their country about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
.
To begin
 with, increasing the price of these hazardous drinks and
food
 could be very useful. A person will consider it
while
 buying it. If the government increases the sweet tax, the cost of making the products will rise respectively. To illustrate, when
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 want to have sugary products, they have to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 more money.
Furthermore
, the governments should make the community more aware, and force the companies to write a causation on these brews regarding the harm they may cause to our health.
On the other hand
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 might say increasing the amount will not be a solution.
Moreover
, we should not forget the large market for
this
 brew and
food
 cater to the children and
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 who will be reluctant to leave it.
This
 problem can be solved by educating these
people
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthier
food
 and drink. And the government
also
 promote about
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy
food
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our life. To summarise, increasing the cost could be
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 effective
measuring
Replace the word
measure
show examples
 but educating the crowd about the harms and substitutes of the drink and
food
 could
also
 help in solving the problem significantly.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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