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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Over the past few decades, the trend of taking a ‘gap year’ of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 before beginning work or university has gained popularity among young people.
While
Linking Words
 some totally support the idea, there is a significant number of individuals who believe it to be an expensive waste of time. In my opinion,
this
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 is an outstanding chance for them to broaden their horizons and should
be definitely
Correct word order
definitely be
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 taken, provided that they can afford it. On the one hand,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad offers invaluable life experience, which later helps with practical decision-making in problematic situations.
For example
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, by meeting new people and
familiarizing
Correct pronoun usage
familiarising themselves
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 with how other cultures think, they gain a deeper understanding of the way the world works.
This
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 sharpens their communication skills and helps them become more persuasive, which is crucial in
team-working
Correct your spelling
teamwork
, an ability valued both at university and at work.
Therefore
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, it would seem logical to take a year
for exploring
Wrong verb form
to explore
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 the world before starting another stage in life.
On the other hand
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, there are views that a ‘gap year’ hinders young persons from achieving success in their career and that they can use
this
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 time in
way
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apply
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more effective ways. Taking into account the benefits discussed previously, I totally disagree with these opinions. The knowledge obtained
as a result
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 of one year spent abroad will definitely compensate for the gap in their academic or professional life. On balance, I think that taking a ‘gap year’ should definitely be considered as an option for high-school or university graduates.
However
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,
this
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 should only be done if the risk
for
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of
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 it
to become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a financial hardship is absent.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. Your first side is stronger than your second side.
task response
Add one more clear example for the view that a gap year is a waste of time or costs too much money.
task response
Explain your own opinion a little more in the body, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Most are good, but some lines sound too strong or too fixed.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body paragraph more fully developed with one clear main idea and support.
coherence and cohesion
Check small wording choices because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You clearly answer the question and give your opinion.
task response
You discuss both views, so the essay is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are easy to follow from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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