The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The pie charts illustrate how people shopped via the Internet for books, clothes, film/music and travel in Zealand in the years 2003 and 2013.

overall

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, the rate at which people chopped varied in both years. In 2003, travelling had the most online

sales

Use synonyms

whilst filming/ music was the most popular in 2013 From the chart ,

it is clear that

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travelling had the highest

sales

Use synonyms

in 2003 with 36% and experience a substantial drop to 29%in 2013. The percentage of people who bought cloth online stood at 24% in 2003.

This

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also

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saw a significant decrease to 16% in 2013. The rate of individuals who patronize film/music accounted for 21% of internet

sales

Use synonyms

in 2003 but

this

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saw more than 10% increase to 33% in 2013. It had the highest percentage of

sales

Use synonyms

for the year 2013. Persons who purchased books through the net was 19% in 2003

this

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however

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rose marginally to 22% in 2013.

yahayasonde2Mon Jul 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belleve it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More people are educating themselves with online educational sources. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?