Some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians, painters and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, literature and art have started to
become
Verb problem
apply
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disappeared
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disappear
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into the shadow of struggle in personal life.
Therefore
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, some would think that the
government
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should
support
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this
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artist financially.
Whereas
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, others believe that money should be invested somewhere else
instead
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in talented
artists
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.
To begin
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with, development in art industries and new
up comers
Correct your spelling
upcomers
with the latest trends in the community
has
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have
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caused every field of
this
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industry.
However
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, specifically providing financial
support
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would not
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
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a distinguishing approach by the
government
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.
For example
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, there are numerous
artists
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out here who weren’t able to portray their attention to the public, which created a downfall in their
career
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careers
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.
In addition
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, the lawmakers can’t put resilience, whether they specially allocate budget for them.
Due to
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these concerns ,somewhere I should have to put my perspective on individuals who think that it could be a waste of money. Even though, encouraging civil service members would be the preferable option in comparison to these
artists
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.
On the other hand
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, the
government
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would rather offer several opportunities to independent and talented
artists
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who are actually in need of
support
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.
As a result
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, skilful painters with great art skills and knowledge will not only get financial need but
also
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employment to teach the upcoming generation.
For instance
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, a collar with a private organisation or the state
government
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is significant in a career. Which will directly oppose them to wider occasions to showcase their artwork.
Furthermore
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, poets with god-gifted natural ability in writing quotes can
also
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switch to online platforms without being dependent on someone.
To sum up
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, many
artists
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has
Change the verb form
have
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to struggle into their first phase in life, but they should not
be relied
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rely
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on anyone or have
exception
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exceptions
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from the
government
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of
Change preposition
for
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support
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. In my opinion, talented people can accomplish anything,
whereas
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brilliant painters and musicians can
also
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make money through freelance work.
Submitted by user349953 on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction could be clearer in setting the stage for the discussion. Consider formulating a concise thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some arguments lack depth and development. Work on expanding ideas further to present a comprehensive response.
relevant specific examples
Ensure that your examples are more specific and clearly connect to the arguments you are making to strengthen your points.
complete response
The essay provides an introduction to both perspectives of the argument, showing an understanding of the task.
logical structure
You've made an attempt to logically present arguments from both sides of the debate, which helps in maintaining a certain level of coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Government funding
  • Cultural preservation
  • Economic development
  • Financial stability
  • Nurture talent
  • Innovation
  • Diverts resources
  • Critical services
  • Art market
  • Personal merit
  • Mediocrity
  • Dependency
  • Patrons
  • Sponsorship
  • Private funding
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