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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparision where relevant
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #features #comparision
The given two maps
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
road
 access to
city
Add an article
a city
the city
show examples
 hospital in 2007 and in 2010.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
first
Add an article
the first
a first
show examples
 map
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2007 on
north
Add an article
the north
show examples
side
 there is
ring
Correct article usage
a ring
show examples
road
,
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
side
Bus
 stop,
west
Add an article
the west
show examples
side
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
empty and south
side
 there is
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
show examples
road
,
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
road
 and
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
 for staff and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, and in
Add an article
the centre
show examples
centre
Add a comma
,centre
show examples
 there is
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
 hospital.
Secondly
, in 2010 in
Add an article
the centre
show examples
centre
Add a comma
,centre
show examples
 there is
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
 hospital there is
ring
Correct article usage
a ring
show examples
road
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
upper
Add an article
the upper
show examples
side
 and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
down
Correct your spelling
downside
show examples
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 there is
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
 station, hospital
road
, staff car
park
 and
city
Correct article usage
a city
show examples
road
. There is
also
 a roundabout.
Thirdly
, in 2010 there is development in
bus
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 and public car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
. In conclusion, there is a great development between 2007 to 2010. In 2007 there was a
bus
 stop which was
canverted
Correct your spelling
converted
 in the roundabout. In 2007 there was
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 and staff
park
 was combien but it was better in 2010.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, side, bus, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure, development, expansion, accessibility, comparative analysis, layout, direction, emergency services, facilities, pedestrian paths, urban development, strategic planning
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