IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The top priority of business is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#priority #business #money #responsibilities
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The majority
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 said that the top antecedence of business is making money and they do not need to have public responsibilities.
This
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 writer will totally disagree with
this
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 opinion and will explain why in the text below. On the one hand, it can be observed that earning money is very
imoprtant
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important
 but
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 social responsibilities is the
prerequisites
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prerequisite
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. Our
ancestor
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ancestors
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 taught
that
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us that
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 we have to
has
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have
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a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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good characteristics in
the
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our
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 social
life
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 and that will help us to
successful
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be successful
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 in business. Nowadays, there are a
lot
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 of kind
people
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 and they are always helping the Government to develop our
life
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 become
more
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apply
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better.
For instance
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,
Mrs.
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Mrs
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Nguyen Phuong Hang
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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built a
lot
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 of bridges for areas
where
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that
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 have
dificult
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difficult
condition
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conditions
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 to go
or
Correct word choice
and
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Mrs.
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Mrs
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Nguyen Huynh Nhu
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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built a
lot
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 of
house
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houses
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 for elderly
people
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 and disabled
people
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. On the
orther
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other
 hand,
people
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's kindness
are
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is
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 exploited by cunning and greedy
people
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 nowadays. Most
people
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 who take advantage of other
people
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's kindness are simply selfish and ungrateful. These
people
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 think little about the effort expended by kind
people
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 toward them
,
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apply
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 and will exhaust the limits of your generosity without much of a thank you.
This
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 will make strong
sponsor
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sponsors
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suspicios
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suspicious
suspicions
about
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of
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social
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society
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 and maybe they will not donate or support anything for a better
life
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and
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apply
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if
this
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 continues, our
life
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 will go down and get worse. In conclusion,
while
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 it is irrefutable that making money is the most important, I would contend that
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 social responsibilities is the most important thing. Having good characteristics
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 very necessary with
people
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 because that will help you a
lot
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 in your
life
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 and
people
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 will admire you.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Profitability
  • Ethical practices
  • Economic growth
  • Brand image
  • Consumer backlash
  • Long-term success
  • Sustainability
  • Ethical labor practices
  • Community involvement
  • Legal requirements
  • Compliance policies
  • Innovation
  • Stakeholders
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
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