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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that children should be taught the importance of money. What is your opinion on this matter? What other value should children be taught?

#people #children #importance #money #matter #value
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Money
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in the modern world,
therefore
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, some
parents
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 consider that they should teach their
children
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 the value of
money
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.
While
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 I accept that students should learn to respect
money
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, I
also
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 believe that educating
children
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 about the importance of reading
books
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also
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 plays an important role when raising a child. These days, there are many interesting things around
children
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 that make them eager to have. That may be a toy, a babe doll or a video game machine which their friends already have so they
also
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 want to own one.
Therefore
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,
children
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 often require their
parents
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 to buy it for them even though they have too many other similar things at home or they don’t really need it.
This
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 would become bad
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit
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 if
parents
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 accept all their offspring’s requests
instead
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 of giving them
the
Correct article usage
apply
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lessons
of
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about
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 the value of
money
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. When the youngsters are fully aware of
this
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, they can understand the hardships and sacrifices their
parents
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 are making to earn
money
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,
as a result
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,
adjusting
Wrong verb form
adjust
show examples
 their needs and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Teaching
children
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 the importance of reading
books
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 is one of the important values that
parents
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 should deliver to their kids at
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early age.
This
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 is because
books
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 contain a wide range of knowledge in different aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our life which greatly contributes to the development of
children
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. By reading
books
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,
children
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 not only enrich their knowledge through useful information but
also
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 nourish their senses
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 moral lessons.
Furthermore
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, reading habits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a great way for young people to improve their ability to use a language, learn more vocabulary and considerably enhance their reading comprehension. In conclusion,
besides
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 teaching the value of
money
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 to youngsters, adults
also
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 should help them understand the importance of reading
books
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are essential factors to contribute to
children
Use synonyms
's development.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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