IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarie #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart illustrates the households divide in two
years
Use synonyms
 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Food average in
this
Linking Words
 chart was maximum in 1968
while
Linking Words
 the 2018 year It averaged only 16%.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, It was a very difference between both
years
Use synonyms
However
Linking Words
, It was half less in 2018.
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 Leisure was 23% in 2018.
This
Linking Words
 was increased from past
years
Use synonyms
 and Its average is very good to other items.
Although
Linking Words
, In 1968 Its only 8%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Housing income spent in 1968 was 10% but It increased in 2018 average was 18%. The next category is Fuel and power spent 7% in 1968 and only 3% in 2018.
while
Linking Words
, families spent
money
Use synonyms
 on Personal goods
also
Linking Words
 same 3% like fuel in 2018 but, 8% in 1968. Nextly, the Household goods weekly average was almost the same in both
years
Use synonyms
, 7% from 1968 to 2018.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, families spent
money
Use synonyms
 on clothes and footwear by 10% in 1968 and the year 2018 It averaged a decrease of 5% So, which was half a percentage from past
years
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Families spent more income weekly , with the highest
money
Use synonyms
 spent on food in 1968 But In 2018 Their preference changed because they spent the highest
money
Use synonyms
 on leisure
according to
Linking Words
 the other features.
Submitted by PREETY  on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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