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Band 5

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

#people #sports
Nowadays,a significant number of young
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
play
sports
 fewer.
This
 is mainly because of financial problems and
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not encourage them about the benefits of
sports
.There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with
sports
.
Firstly
,the reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not do
sports
due to
 financial problems.
In other words
,most
people
 in the world do not work and do not have enough money to go to
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
 or play
sports
such
 as football and tennis so
that is
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
 problem.
Secondly
,the government do not encourage
people
 about
sports
 and the benefits of
sports
 because some countries have a war and the education it is very tacky
such
 as Yemen.
As a result
,many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 tend to work without
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
sports
 or exercise to improve
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 health. There are two effective solutions to the problem of
sports
.One way to eliminate
this
 is to ensure that all
people
 should study and work
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 gain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new experience.
For example
. Marketing because it will help them
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 financial problems and improve them.Another method of dealing with
people
 who do not play
sports
governments
Add a missing verb
is governments
show examples
 should put rulers to encourage individuals about
sports
 and teach them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools about the benefits of
sports
.
This
 solution would hopefully prevent
sports
 deterioration. In conclusion,
people
 should
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
show examples
 and
also
putting
Change the verb form
put
be putting
show examples
 rules by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 are effective in dealing with
this
 issue.if governments follow these solutions it will improve
people
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engagement
  • incentives
  • obesity
  • recreation
  • well-being
  • peer pressure
  • physical fitness
  • endurance
  • balance
  • teamwork
  • coordination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • discipline
  • facilities
  • accessible
  • affordable
  • curriculum
  • extracurricular
  • inclusion
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