Nowadays, many governments' budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this is an appropriate investment?

#governments #budget #money #sports #industry #investment

In recent years it

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

seen that authorities are allocating funds to the sporting industry and they should provide those benefits. I believe that it is necessary to have an investment in the

sports

sector.

Firstly

, funding for

sports

by the ministry is necessary because of the following reasons,

this

encourages the public to invest their time in

sports

that will improve their health and minimize the risk of diseases.

For instance

, around the world obesity has become a high health risk

due to

poor diet and lack of exercise so, if authorities fund

sports

it will enable

people

do exercises

Wrong verb form

exercise

show examples

Furthermore

this

will improve

people

's social lives since nowadays

sports

is the most activity

people

do in their free time and

also

people

are earning a living from

sporting

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

For example

, when

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

provides funding to

sports

people

who are talented can

also

earn good

money

later soccer pays well so the player gets the chance to play in sporting is funded well. It is

also

a way that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can put in

money

and later on benefit from that.

However

, the state should not spend

money

on funding

sports

rather they should direct that

money

to charity to improve and provide for those who are underprivileged.

Thus

, providing orphanages and charity organizations so that children will be able to attend school. In conclusion, I strongly believe that authority investing in

sports

is necessary because it helps

in reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

health risks and

also

creates employment for those with the talent to pursue their goals.

Submitted by fideliscity on Mon Jul 24 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address all parts of the task. Some points lack clarity and relevance.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear and coherent organization. The introduction and conclusion are not effectively presented, and the development of the main points is disorganized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many governments' budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this is an appropriate investment?

Fully explain your ideas

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The increase in people's life expectancy means that they have to work older to pay for their retirement. One alternative is that people start to work at younger age. Is this alternative a positive or negative development?

Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion