IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The majority of people believe that zoos ought to prohibited while others think that zoos must supported . In my opinion , I agree that zoos have positive effects on animals

#majority #people #zoos #effects #animals
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The majority of people believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 ought to be prohibited,
while
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 others think that they must be supported. In my opinion, I agree that
zoos
Use synonyms
 have positive effects on
animals
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 and
therefore
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 the government should invest their money to build more
zoos
Use synonyms
. A good reason why
zoos
Use synonyms
 must have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
attention from the government is by investing funds
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 creating a number of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
habitatis
Correct your spelling
habitats
, which can make a better environment to produce and prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
endangering.
For instance
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, the government could protect the
animals
Use synonyms
 that
suffring
Correct your spelling
suffering
 from extinction
such
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 as
caugh
Correct your spelling
caught
 them and
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 them in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
extreamly
Correct your spelling
extremely
sustain
Replace the word
sustainable
show examples
 place.
Secondly
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,
by
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apply
show examples
increasing the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might be
benifical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects,
providig
Correct your spelling
providing
 a lot of jobs and
opportunaties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
for example
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.
This
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 can
leds
Correct your spelling
lead
 to an increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many parts of the country
instead
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 of wasting the chance by
abloish
Correct your spelling
abolish
 those
zoos
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.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, many
jobes
Correct your spelling
jobs
show examples
 depend on
zoos
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Change preposition
in which
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which
Correct word choice
where
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 they can earn a decent
sallery
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salary
 or wage.
Finally
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,
zoos
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 allow scientists to study
animals
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 and
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 behaviour more clearly and much
eassier
Correct your spelling
easier
. In
this
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 method of
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
animals
Use synonyms
 might live years longer
that
Correct word choice
than
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 they should live.
In other words
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, the
professionals
Change to a genitive case
professional's
professionals'
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 tests will enhance
animals
Use synonyms
 health by
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
 them the right medicine. In conclusion, If the
govenments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 supported
this
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filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
habitait
Correct your spelling
habitat
, it could make a lot of advantages,
such
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 as
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 jobs, stop decrease the
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
show examples
 number and
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 scientists do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicals
Change the noun form
medical
show examples
 surgeries.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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