The top priority of businesses is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

it is said by some individuals that it is no need to have social responsibilities for
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
priority of
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
.
This
writer completely disagreed with the given topic and will explain the reasons why in the next essay.
Firstable
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
besides
making
money
, not
every
Change the determiner
every one
each
show examples
of the top businesses
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
legally running and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
successful without breaking the law . It is because every entrepreneur's aim is
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
money
,
become
Correct word choice
and become
show examples
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
so they will do everything
whatever
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
it is legal or not. When these
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
are allowed to take
none
Correct quantifier usage
no
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
, they might possibly do everything that could help them improve and
also
defeat the rival companies to get more income.
For example
, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of drugs consumer
are
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is
show examples
rising
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
in the U.S ,
specially
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especially
show examples
the poor
people
or the
people
who
lives
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live
show examples
in a slum,
due to
this
problem, a high amount of
drugdealers
Correct your spelling
drug dealers
and ghost organizations have popped up
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
to sell their drugs to the consumer to get
money
in order to change their life which makes their nation become worse. When it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
worse, there could be chaos or gangs starting riots to
againts
Correct your spelling
against
the law.
Secondly
, it can be observed that some
Correct your spelling
business
businesses
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
are making
money
in illegal ways, because of the
Correct your spelling
high cost
show examples
high-cost
Correct your spelling
high cost
show examples
of the products that their
entrepreneuers
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
Correct your spelling
against
againts
Correct your spelling
against
the law to take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
to get rich
such
as selling historical objects, valuable items or
rhino's
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rhino
show examples
horn. Some are running with an aim to scam
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
on the internet to get access to their bank accounts or create phishing links to steal their personal
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
or even
kidnapping
Wrong verb form
kidnap
show examples
the target to ask for fortune,
money
and houses.
For example
,
People
nowadays are getting scammed through phishing links
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
made by hackers make up the most
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
because of the lack of Information Technology
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
. Taking everything into
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
show examples
, it can be observed that whatever the bad or top priority of
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
, it is
compulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
to have social responsibilities
while
making
money
. Because without that, the
people
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the nations generally would become worse and the financials could get worse because of the inflations.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
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