IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

the top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
Businesses put a high priority on generating profits ,
however
, they do not care about public responsibilities. I completely disagree with that statement. Companies should do more for a nation than simply make money. On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in the competitive world. It seems logical that the priority of any group should be to cover its running costs,
such
 as employee wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs, groups
also
 need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If an association is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant.
In other words
, a company can only make a positive contribution to society if it is in good financial health.
On the other hand
, companies should not run with the sole aim of maximising profit; they have a wider role to play in the nation. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees well, rather than exploit them.
For example
, they could pay a “living wage” to ensure that workers have a good quality of life. I
also
 like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities, environmental projects or education initiatives.
Finally
,
instead
 of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that community bosses should be happy to contribute to the company through the tax system. In conclusion, I believe that associations should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: