IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

the top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
it
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
 said that the highest
priovity
Correct your spelling
priority
 of
Use synonyms
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 is making
money
Use synonyms
, the social
Use synonyms
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 is not
nesserary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for them. The writer
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 agree with the reason and explain it flowing the statement
Body paragraph 1
On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, making
money
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the important
goal
Change to a plural noun
goals
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 beside that they have
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 the
prioty
Correct your spelling
priority
such
Linking Words
 as
incometax
Correct your spelling
income tax
,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 charity, the percentage of jobless
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 more activity.
Do
Wrong verb form
Doing
show examples
 social
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 is very important
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it is
one
Use synonyms
 of
reason
Correct article usage
the reason
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the income for
Use synonyms
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Body paragraph 2
on
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast,
somepeople
Correct your spelling
some people
 who do not agree maybe can use
the
Change the word
their
show examples
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 as the reason
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the bussiness
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 pay
money
Use synonyms
 for charity but that
money
Use synonyms
 do not spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 poor people. It can
be prevent
Change the verb form
prevent
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 from working which
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income.
Conclusion
All in all the benefit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
Use synonyms
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 important
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 that the company need pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 because it
con
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
 improve the fame and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fortune of that company.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • top priority
  • making money
  • social responsibilities
  • businesses
  • agree
  • counter argument
  • refutation
  • importance
  • personal opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: