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Band 2.5

The top priority of businesses is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
There are people
argued
Correct pronoun usage
who argued
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 that
businesses
 should prioritize
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
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 money first and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not have social
responsibilities
while
 there are people who said that
corporations
Change noun form
corporations'
corporation's
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 top priority is social
responsibilities
. I would say that making
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
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 s is the top priority for companies,
this
 essay would argue that they should conduct their
businesses
 in
socially
Add an article
a socially
show examples
 responsible manner On the one hand, when there is no need to care about public
responsabilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, enterprises can focus more on making money and making more profits, but
on the contrary
, when having social
responsibilities
,
businesses
 will be more trusted,
careds
Correct your spelling
cared
cards
 for and remembered by
customers
. Those companies will
also
 be referred to others by
customers
, thereby reducing advertising costs
On the other hand
, corporations without public
responnsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 will not receive the trust of
customers
 or worse,
hated
Add a missing verb
be hated
show examples
 and can be boycotted leading to no
customers
 thereby leading to the risk of bankruptcy. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
firms that have social
Correct your spelling
responsibilities when
responsibilitieswhen
Correct your spelling
responsibilities when
 it comes to focusing on how to both profit from
customers
 and meet standards related to public
responsibilities
, it can be a bit of a hindrance in the implementation of the intended plans In conclusion, enterprises need to be socially responsible when operating.
On the contrary
, we should criticize
businesses
 that operate without public
responsibilities
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
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