Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of pople's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One of the most discussed societal
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
is the number of
people
believing that a great
proportion
of
people
's
salaries
should be taken by
governments
to pay for necessary public services
such
as roads and schools
while
other
people
don't. In my opinion,
governments
should not take a large
proportion
of
people
's
salariers
Correct your spelling
salaries
because taxes in most countries are already high and taking even more would decrease their disposable income.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
lower
salaries
would make it difficult for
people
to have a decent lifestyle. First of all,
people
believe that
governments
should take a
proportion
of their salary because by extracting
this
percentage, there will be more funds to be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
public services.
Thus
, there will be
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
in the sectors of public services.
For example
, citizens will benefit
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
driving greater and finer roads, schools can be renovated, teacher
salaries
to be increased and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more nutritious meals. Second of all, there are individuals who believe that high taxes are unfortunate. By extracting a percentage from
people
's
salaries
, they will not be able to afford the lifestyle that they previously had.
For example
, the fixed expenses
such
as rent, mortgage,
Correct word choice
and utilites
show examples
utilites
Correct your spelling
utilities
, just to name a few, will remain the same,
while
their income will decrease. Simultaneously, the world is experiencing inflation
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
furthermore
negatively affects
people
's disposable income. In conclusion,
governments
should not take a large
proportion
of
people
's
salaries
, because it will affect their lifestyle.
Also
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
the taxes are unbelievably high
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
makes it difficult for most
people
to pay them.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: