Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

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People have different views about
children
should spend their spare
time
with their relatives.
While
others believe that
this
is unnecessary for
children
to spend their
time
with their families. There are arguments on both sides,
however
, I am inclined to believe that they should spend
time
on
overall
growth. On the one hand,
children
nowadays are competitive. They have access to many opportunities, competitions, and new technological devices to study and take part in some sports.
Besides
, academic knowledge, they
also
participate in curricular activities.
For example
, some universities suggest that students should take part in sports, extracurricular
pieces of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
training, and volunteer activities to grow
overall
.
Thus
, having alone
time
is extremely necessary for
children
's personal development.
On the other hand
, family plays an important role in each child's life. It is important to spend
time
with them and it can heal their inner child.
For instance
, people who interact with their family when they are free can have good communication and great social interaction.
Therefore
, if
children
can spend all their free
time
with their families, the number of chances to make
children
lonely and anxious will decrease.
To sum up
,
although
spending all of
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
people's free
time
with their families entails a positive aspect, I believe that spending their
time
with others can provide more benefits to
children
's future.
This
enables
children
to gain more experience and skills for living alone in the future

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task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the question and presents a clear position on the issue. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your ideas in a more coherent manner. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strengthen family bonds
  • emotional support
  • instill values
  • nurturing environment
  • secure and loved
  • social skills
  • independence
  • sense of identity
  • diverse environments
  • adaptable
  • open-minded
  • balanced development
  • foundational support
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