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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

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People have different views about
children
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 should spend their spare
time
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 with their relatives.
While
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 others believe that
this
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 is unnecessary for
children
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 to spend their
time
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 with their families. There are arguments on both sides,
however
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, I am inclined to believe that they should spend
time
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 on
overall
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 growth. On the one hand,
children
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 nowadays are competitive. They have access to many opportunities, competitions, and new technological devices to study and take part in some sports.
Besides
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, academic knowledge, they
also
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 participate in curricular activities.
For example
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, some universities suggest that students should take part in sports, extracurricular
pieces of
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apply
show examples
training, and volunteer activities to grow
overall
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.
Thus
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, having alone
time
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 is extremely necessary for
children
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's personal development.
On the other hand
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, family plays an important role in each child's life. It is important to spend
time
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 with them and it can heal their inner child.
For instance
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, people who interact with their family when they are free can have good communication and great social interaction.
Therefore
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, if
children
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 can spend all their free
time
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 with their families, the number of chances to make
children
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 lonely and anxious will decrease.
To sum up
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,
although
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 spending all of
youth
Correct your spelling
young
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 people's free
time
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 with their families entails a positive aspect, I believe that spending their
time
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 with others can provide more benefits to
children
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's future.
This
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 enables
children
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 to gain more experience and skills for living alone in the future

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task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the question and presents a clear position on the issue. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your ideas in a more coherent manner. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strengthen family bonds
  • emotional support
  • instill values
  • nurturing environment
  • secure and loved
  • social skills
  • independence
  • sense of identity
  • diverse environments
  • adaptable
  • open-minded
  • balanced development
  • foundational support
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