IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that acess to internet is necessary to live a full life ? do you agree or disagree?

#people #acess #internet #life
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The debate whether
Internet
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 access is necessary to live a full
life
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, as opposed to a
life
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 without it, has become a matter of discussion for many of the
last
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 decades. In my opinion, for the new generations, it would be more beneficial to have
Internet
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 access only if it is necessary. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both points of view and resent supporting arguments for my selection. To start with, if we go some years back, we
realised
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realise
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 that our days
were
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are
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 the same as today.
Firstly
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, an
Internet
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 connection was provided only in our houses, or at the workplace via cable with a dial-up phone line.
Secondly
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, we didn'
t
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 have smart cell phones, but we have our lives in a calm and safe environment.
For example
Linking Words
, we have daily contact with our family and friends, we reach our destinations, and we learn all the news about the planet. TV, radio, cable
Internet
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 connection and telephones were our guides. And we all grow up normally.
On the other hand
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, nowadays, we all have smart mobile phones and smartwatches, and we have
internet
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 connection everywhere and all the time.
Although
Linking Words
 we have entry to everybody's activity via mass media platforms, we don'
t
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 have that personal contact we used to have with our beloveds some decades before. It is a fact that having
Internet
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 access makes our days full of unnecessary information. Kids
and
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apply
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especially infants prefer to play with a virtual friend
instead
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 of going out and playing with a real friend. Elder people can'
t
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 use these new methods, and day by day, they stay alone. So, in conclusion, the
Internet
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 makes
life
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 easier, but the way we use it seems to make us unhappy, and unpleasant and provides us with unnecessary backgrounds. On top of that, it is better to live under control, is worth a lot to have the
Internet
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 all over, but for sure it doesn'
t
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 make our
life
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 full.
Submitted by mayiou on

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task response
Ensure that your essay clearly responds to the question prompt, providing a clear and comprehensive discussion of both points of view on the topic at hand. Additionally, make sure to support your position with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and previews the main points, and that your conclusion summarizes the key points and restates your position. Additionally, use cohesive devices to link ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
You have a good range of vocabulary, but be careful with the selection and usage of words to ensure precision and clarity. Aim to use more varied and idiomatic expressions to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a fair command of grammar and sentence structure, but there are several instances of sentence structure, subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward phrasing. Review and practice using a variety of complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement.
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