IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans the layout of the ground floor of the school library in 2001 and how it changed as a result of fenovations in 2009

#plans #layout #ground #floor #school #library #fenovations
The first map illustrates
ground
Correct article usage
the ground
show examples
 floor plan in 2001 and the second picture presents the plan in 2009 after some changes
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. It is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are some interior modifications in the following year.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the beginning, there are no changes in the front part of the hall.
However
, computers have
added
Add a missing verb
been added
show examples
 after
librarian’s
Correct article usage
the librarian’s
show examples
 desk. When entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the library there are a few tables
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a row
although
 they were in two rows in 2001. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but there is a key change
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side of maps because they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
replaced films and DVDs in 2009
instead
 of newspapers and periodicals.
According to
 the first map, there are two sections
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the library as
self- help
Correct your spelling
self-help
show examples
 and history. In 2009,
this
 area, they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
divided
this
 section into six
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
 chambers including
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 sections. As new chambers, they have included a kitchen, a fiction, an economics side and a law part.
In addition
,
fiction
Correct article usage
the fiction
show examples
 area has changed
Change preposition
to as
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 children’s book and before
this
section
Add a comma
,section
show examples
 there is a children’s area. The map in 2009 is clear to understand and the structure is easy to follow
although
 they have added new areas to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: