IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is a good idea to continue working beyond retirement age. Do you agree or disagree?

#idea #retirement #age
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Working effectively is crucial to
build
Change the verb form
building
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 a successful business and it affects both
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 and
employer
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employers
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 in different ways.
Therefore
Linking Words
, working after
retirement
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age
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 is not a good concept for every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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.
People
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 need to earn for living. Physical and mental stability is one of the key factors to maintain the working environment in
better
Add an article
a better
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 way. If there is a cutting mark of
retirement
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age
Use synonyms
,
people
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 should escape the job to get their leisure because it involves
for
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
’s well-being.
This
Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 is marked
according to
Linking Words
 the average physical strength of citizens in the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the government have published that the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
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 is 60, employees need to say goodbye.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they cannot do
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 well and the outcome will be less than before.
However
Linking Words
, there are various kinds of reasons for
this
Linking Words
 late
retirement
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 and re-joining
such
Linking Words
 as staff shortage, less income and high living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 like to work
although
Linking Words
 they are elders.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is a question
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can these
people
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 work as the Youngers?
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some nurses in
Sri-Lanka
Correct your spelling
Sri Lanka
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 who are working after their pension.
However
Linking Words
, they are very poor to provide efficient care for their clients as previously. It would be
negative
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a negative
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 outcome which affects all of the clients and to
country
Add an article
the country
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 as well.
To conclude
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 work after their
retirement
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
. There might be several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 decision
such
Linking Words
 as financial issues and government regulations
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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impose
due to
Linking Words
 institutional needs.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action might be a course of mental and physical deviations of individuals who works after
cut
Correct article usage
the cut
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 of
age
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. They lose their freedom and spiritual well-being because they do not have time to concern about their own.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not a better idea to continue employment after
retirement
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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