IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

“Prevention is better than cure.” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#“prevention #cure #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures
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It is considered that a country's total
health
Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
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 be divided into treatment and
also
Linking Words
 awareness
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 and other minimizing factors of
Use synonyms
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 issues. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
devise
Replace the word
device
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 as it follows
"prevention
Correct article usage
the "prevention
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 is better than cure" policy. The government should have a
longterm
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 plan to execute
this
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 that a generation, probably 20 years, has learned it.
Firstly
Linking Words
 start with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary education about
health
Use synonyms
, its benefits, maintaining
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
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, different
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 issues, the healing technique, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aborting actions. Some essential
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to achieve these
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 through interactive events like TV advertisements, interesting
pamplets
Correct your spelling
pamphlets
, attractive animations or short
drama
Fix the agreement mistake
dramas
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 where pupils participate and communicate. On the other side, the government
also
Linking Words
 discourage citizen to perform actions that are
hazardious
Correct your spelling
hazardous
 to
health
Use synonyms
 which can be achieved, by imposing
lump
Correct article usage
a lump
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 tax
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 minimizing narcotics,
promoting
Correct word choice
and promoting
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 outdoor activities. Another way could be providing bestow to those who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
health
Use synonyms
,
hygiene
Correct word choice
and hygiene
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 within
itself
Correct pronoun usage
their
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, community and workspace.
This
Linking Words
 would attract others to participate and disperse the knowledge of healthy habits across the country because social satisfaction is
also
Linking Words
 one of the needs.
Finally
Linking Words
, these actions, plans, and implementations would enhance the
health
Use synonyms
 of the people and
also
Linking Words
 make them knowledgeable
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 a healthy life. If these are achievable, it will lower the
health
Use synonyms
 expense and decrease the burden on
health
Use synonyms
 workers.
Submitted by ansari.faiyaz28 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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