The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram
demonstrate
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demonstrates
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changes between 1960 to 2000 at Queen Mary Hospital.
Overall
Linking Words
, some buildings had been demolished during
this
Linking Words
period.
Also
Linking Words
, there
was
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were
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changes in the size of some buildings. Only a
car
Use synonyms
park
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and hospital stayed the same place from beginning to end. In 1960 , there were 4 different buildings ,
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
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center
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centre
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,
hospital
Correct article usage
a hospital
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, farmland and
the
Correct article usage
a
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car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
. The hospital was built near the main road and shopping
centre
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,
also
Linking Words
it was in front of
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car
Add an article
the car
show examples
park
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.
In
Linking Words
addition
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,addition
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there was farmland which was behind of shopping
centre
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. In 1980 ,some things
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have
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed.
For instance
Linking Words
,
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
a shopping
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centre
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was demolished and exchanged
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
cancer
Add an article
the cancer
a cancer
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
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turn into to nursing school.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,the hospital was extended and united with
pharmacy
Correct article usage
the pharmacy
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while
Linking Words
the
car
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park
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stayed at the same size. After 20 years ,the main hospital remained unchanged but
cancer
Correct article usage
the cancer
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centre
Use synonyms
had the most significant
extending
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extension
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and consisted
approximately
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of approximately
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just over
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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,once in three of the place.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
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the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
and nursing school became two times smaller than
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, park, centre with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial facilities
  • replacement
  • significant extension
  • absorbed
  • developments
  • introduction
  • adjacent
  • evolution
  • enhancing healthcare services
  • commercial spaces
  • medical facilities
  • expansion
  • modern healthcare needs
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