IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams show the changes which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagrams show the changes which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction
The diagrams show the changes which took place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
Overall
,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1960 to 2000, every twenty years the Queen Mary Hospital changed in layout,
new
Correct word choice
and new
show examples
 facilities were added or removed. In 1960, the place had only 4 structures beside the main road. Downside the road there was
shopping
Add an article
a shopping
show examples
 centre with
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
, even lower down, there was
Correct article usage
a farmlad
show examples
farmlad
Correct your spelling
farmland
 with
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
. But
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 next 40 years the place
wisnessed
Correct your spelling
witnessed
 a number of dramatic changes. In 1980, the shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 was divided into two different places,
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 up cancer centre and
pharmacy
Correct article usage
a pharmacy
show examples
 belonging to the hospital. Farmland was remodeled into
nursing
Correct article usage
a nursing
show examples
 school.
Car
Add an article
The car
show examples
park
 did not
recevied
Correct your spelling
received
receive
 any changes.
Following
this
, in 2000,
cancer
Correct article usage
the cancer
show examples
 centre obtained
nursing
Correct article usage
a nursing
show examples
 school area, but
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
also
 was
splited
Correct your spelling
split
show examples
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 two
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
.
As a result
,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 area
taked
Correct your spelling
take
taken
 nursing school which shares a plot with a
car
park
. Considering
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 with
pharmacy
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacies
show examples
 nothing has really changed.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: