IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Online shopping is now replacing shopping in the store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#store #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
We are now embarking
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the age of
digitaslizaztion
Correct your spelling
digitalization
digitalisation
 where everything you need is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet. Some individuals have the idea that shopping online will replace shopping in a store. In
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the positive and negative effects of online shopping. On the one hand, nowadays people are relying their almost everything
trough
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 online shopping,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 food, clothing, hardware and school supplies.
Everthing
Correct your spelling
Everything
 you need is
hjust
Correct your spelling
just
 a tap away online
shops
Use synonyms
 like Shopee, Lazada, and Shein are just three platforms you can
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use to buy everything.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, these online
shops
Use synonyms
 not only provide a wide range of
selection
Fix the agreement mistake
selections
show examples
 it
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
it
Add the word(s)
but it also
show examples
 has more promos every month that a shopper enjoys. The drawbacks of shopping,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, more
microbuisnesses
Correct your spelling
microbusinesses
micro businesses
 are greatly affected by
this
Linking Words
 online scheme some of them are evidently closing and finding another source of income. To add up, in the Philippines, a large school supply store
calle
Correct your spelling
called
 "The National Bookstore"
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 in the headlines for the reason that their stores are closing
due to
Linking Words
 the decline of customers coming and patronizing their
shops
Use synonyms
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, if you use online
shops
Use synonyms
 you will wait a number of days to weeks to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 your item unlike a physical store
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
availabl
Correct your spelling
available
;e you can have your purchase
imidiately
Correct your spelling
immediately
. In terms of the positive effect, the advancement in technology is inevitable, even our currency is now
digialize
Correct your spelling
digitalize
digitalized
, to
site
Add an article
the site
show examples
 as examples are Paymaya and Gcash.
Thsese onlince
Correct your spelling
These online
currency
Fix the agreement mistake
currencies
show examples
 are
also
Linking Words
 greatly used in online shopping.
In addition
Linking Words
, since the do-it-yourself phenomenon started a wide array of things
such
Linking Words
 as building materials, culinary recipes, and other supplies are available online. In conclusion, online
shops
Use synonyms
 provide more beneficial help to people
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 the one who are in their homes or working remotely.
Submitted by cacholarenzelle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: