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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The line graph given compares the percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in cities in four South East Asian
countries
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 namely
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Malaysia
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,
Thailand
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, and
Indonesia
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 (from 1970-2020), with future
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
show examples
 from 2030 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
countries
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 have sharply
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increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 from the entire period even in the predicted computation
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
year
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 2040.
While
Linking Words
Malaysia
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 has the largest urban
population
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increase
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 with the rest of the
reamning
Correct your spelling
remaining
countries
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, a similar trend is observed with
Use synonyms
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
 with a
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 prediction
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the given period,
however
Linking Words
, in terms of
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
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, fluctuations are noticed before it reached its peak on the final
year
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. On the one hand,
Malaysia
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 and the
Philippines
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 started
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
indiviual
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 living in cities,
however
Linking Words
 in 1990, both
countries
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have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a little over
increment
Add an article
an increment
the increment
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 of 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
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 started to have its remarkable
increase
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 where it will
expected
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expect
show examples
peak
Fix the infinitive
to peak
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 at roughly 86%,
Linking Words
conversely
Add a comma
,conversely
show examples
 the
Philippines
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 have a decline from 2000-2010 before it will have a 50% additional people in the cities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Thailand
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 and
Indonesia
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 started a low percentile of city
population
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 at below 20%, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the foreseen
four fold
Add a hyphen
four-fold
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 in the number of
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
 that will occupy city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in
Indonesia
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 where it overtakes
tahiland
Change the capitalization
Tahiland
show examples
 in the
year
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 2000 at an
estimate
Change the verb form
estimated
show examples
 percentage of 26%.
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
Thailand
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 is expected to bolster
population
Use synonyms
 numbers in the
year
Use synonyms
 2040 with a 10% additional people from 2020 where it stalled at 30%.
Submitted by cacholarenzelle on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, philippines, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, increase, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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