IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #book #germany #france #austria
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given
line
Use synonyms
 graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the amount of money spent on
book
Add an article
a book
show examples
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen
Germany
Use synonyms
 is the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of money spent on books at the first
time
Use synonyms
 and Austria is the lowest fee. Looking at
firgues
Correct your spelling
figures
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 appeared
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1995 with the highest money : 80
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. The
line
Use synonyms
 went up to 90
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 1999.
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 next
time
Use synonyms
, in 2003, it went back to nearly 80
milion
Correct your spelling
million
dollars
Use synonyms
, it take a long
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
Germany
Use synonyms
 can
went
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 up and peak at 95
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 to be the country
had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
show examples
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. France is the next highest
line
Use synonyms
 after
Germany
Use synonyms
, appeared in 1995 with 55
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 but it went up to nearly 80
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 2005. Next is Italy,
appeared
Correct pronoun usage
which appeared
show examples
 same
time
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
Germany
Use synonyms
 and France for the first
time
Use synonyms
, the
line
Use synonyms
 started at 50
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, it fluctuated between 1995 and 1999, but at
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
, it had a big change, the
line
Use synonyms
 started
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 up to the highest, 50
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, but it not enough to compare with another
line
Use synonyms
, it was the lowest
line
Use synonyms
 of all. Austria is the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the first
time
Use synonyms
 but it went up to a
percentage
Use synonyms
 which is higher than Italy, it didn’t fall all of the
time
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 2005.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 91%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, germany, percentage, time, million, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: