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Band 3.5

The top of buisnesses is making money and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#buisnesses #money #responsibilities
The top priority of
buisinesses
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businesses
business
 is general profit and they do not need to have public responsibilities.
While
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 accept that
this
 perception is somewhat
justfiable
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justifiable
,
i
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I
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 believe that making
money
 is the top.
By
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On
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 the other hand, making
money
 is the
oppotunities
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opportunities
of
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for
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 the
buisnesses
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businesses
. If the corporation
don't
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doesn't
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 have enough
money
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will have to grow
business
Correct article usage
the business
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 by earning
money
. example
like
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apply
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a large company were built but they don't have any contract with other company so they can't make enough
money
 to
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continue
continute
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continue
 to build a strong and rich company so they have to get off the building and many staff will delete
On the other hand
, there
are
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is
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host
Add an article
a host
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 of compelling reasons as
why
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to why
show examples
i
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I
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 am convinced that
turninf
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turning
returning
 to the remaining statistics, the
espenditure
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expenditure
 on
books
Correct article usage
the books
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 of France and Italy had the smaller differences. Both of them had the same
flucturation
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fluctuation
frustration
.
Although
 Austria had the lowest budget
but
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apply
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it
become
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becomes
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 strongly increased
at
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from
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 the year 2001 to 2005, higher than Italy.
Finally
, all four countries significantly rise again. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that
top
Correct article usage
the top
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of
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apply
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priority of business is making
money
. I would
content
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contend
show examples
 that most
of
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apply
show examples
businesses
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 have to grow
money
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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