IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Asutralia between 1995 and 2005

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Asutralia between 1995 and 2005
#amount #money #books #germany #france #asutralia
The line graph shows the sum of pay of Us dollars in
millions
 of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
4 countries spent on
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 between 1995 and 2005 period.
Overall
, an upward tendency can be seen in the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
property
Correct article usage
the property
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 4 countries.
However
 Germany spent property on
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
had
Correct word choice
and had
show examples
 the highest mark and
Austria
 had the lowest mark in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year.
To begin
, the amount of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Germany started at 80
million
 and increased slightly to 90
million
 in 1999.
Then
, there was a slight decline from 90 to 85
million
 before increasing to nearly 95
million
 in 2005. Turning to
Austria
, there was a slight increase in the amount of property that
Austria
 spent on books from 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 40
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three
years
 before staying stable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two
years
 after.
Finally
,
this
 number increased dramatically to just above 70
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001. Compare with
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries, Germany had the highest point in the end and the finish point of
Austria
 between France
ang
Correct your spelling
and
 Italy. Meanwhile, the number of money France spent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 increased steadily to 75
million
 in six
years
 period. About Italy, the statistic
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money spent on
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in Italy started at 50
million
 and fluctuated in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three
years
 before increasing steadily from 50
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to nearly 62
million
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
years
.
However
, the
last
 point of France was higher than Italy.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, book, austria, million, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • trends
  • spike
  • decline
  • steady
  • anomaly
  • cultural influences
  • technological advancements
  • e-books
  • internet penetration
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • recession
  • literary
  • socio-economic factors
  • statistical data
  • graph analysis
  • comparative analysis
  • book fair
  • percentage change
  • peak
  • trough
What to do next:
Look at other essays: