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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Asutralia between 1995 and 2005

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Asutralia between 1995 and 2005
#amount #money #books #germany #france #asutralia
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The line graph shows the sum of pay of Us dollars in
millions
Use synonyms
 of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
4 countries spent on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 between 1995 and 2005 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, an upward tendency can be seen in the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
property
Correct article usage
the property
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 4 countries.
However
Linking Words
 Germany spent property on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
had
Correct word choice
and had
show examples
 the highest mark and
Austria
Use synonyms
 had the lowest mark in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year.
To begin
Linking Words
, the amount of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Germany started at 80
million
Use synonyms
 and increased slightly to 90
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
Then
Linking Words
, there was a slight decline from 90 to 85
million
Use synonyms
 before increasing to nearly 95
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Turning to
Austria
Use synonyms
, there was a slight increase in the amount of property that
Austria
Use synonyms
 spent on books from 30
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 40
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three
years
Use synonyms
 before staying stable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two
years
Use synonyms
 after.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number increased dramatically to just above 70
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001. Compare with
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 countries, Germany had the highest point in the end and the finish point of
Austria
Use synonyms
 between France
ang
Correct your spelling
and
 Italy. Meanwhile, the number of money France spent
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 increased steadily to 75
million
Use synonyms
 in six
years
Use synonyms
 period. About Italy, the statistic
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 money spent on
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in Italy started at 50
million
Use synonyms
 and fluctuated in
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three
years
Use synonyms
 before increasing steadily from 50
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to nearly 62
million
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 point of France was higher than Italy.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words millions, book, austria, million, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • fluctuations
  • trends
  • spike
  • decline
  • steady
  • anomaly
  • cultural influences
  • technological advancements
  • e-books
  • internet penetration
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • recession
  • literary
  • socio-economic factors
  • statistical data
  • graph analysis
  • comparative analysis
  • book fair
  • percentage change
  • peak
  • trough
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