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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line chart describes the amount of expenditure on visitors to New Zealand that several
countries
Use synonyms
 from 1996 to 2014. In general, Australia is consistently above other
countries
Use synonyms
 all
year
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
China
Use synonyms
 illustrates tendential below for almost a
year
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1996, visitors from Australia did expenditures to New Zealand. Exactly 1,000
people
Use synonyms
 were involved in the activities.
This
Linking Words
 value shows obviously an increased period of ten years (until 2006).
However
Linking Words
, it shows instability and fluctuation until the end
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the result is different depict in
China
Use synonyms
. It shows an increase in starting
year
Use synonyms
, but occur fluctuates from 2004 to 2014. The value shows the smallest comparison with other
countries
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
 has the higher expenditure of
people
Use synonyms
 just proximally 500
people
Use synonyms
 (in 2004) and the lowest around 10
people
Use synonyms
 (1996).
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 result illustrates an increase until the end
year
Use synonyms
 (2014). Tu sumps up, from five
countries
Use synonyms
, it shows inconsistently amount expenditure of
people
Use synonyms
 in Newzealand.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Australia and
China
Use synonyms
 still exist on the highest and smallest almost every
year
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, year, china, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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