IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #museums #art #galleries #objects #works #computer #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals claim that public exhibitions and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 will not be
reuqired
Correct your spelling
required
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can watch historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
 by utilizing a
computer
Use synonyms
 and the
Internet
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
, there are several reasons why I believe public
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 will not be needed.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 and
computer
Use synonyms
 provide
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 experience for
people
Use synonyms
 to see historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 impose fees for
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
computer
Use synonyms
 can encourage more
people
Use synonyms
 to learn about cultures and heritage result of
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 experience for free.
Secondly
Linking Words
, public
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 cost a
consderiable
Correct your spelling
considerable
 amount of money.
This
Linking Words
 is because run
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 require maintenance and pay salaries of staff. In
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
show examples
 if the historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 only provide via
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and
computer
Use synonyms
these cost
Change the determiner
this cost
these costs
show examples
 will reduce, which mean the government funding will minimize.
Finally
Linking Words
,
persent
Correct your spelling
present
 historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
 by using a
computer
Use synonyms
 and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is
environmentally-friendly
Add an article
the environmentally-friendly
an environmentally-friendly
show examples
 way. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to travel oversea in order to see historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 flights.
As a result
Linking Words
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 flights mean less Co2 footprint, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
mitigate
Change the verb form
mitigating
show examples
 climate change and global warming.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I strongly believe public
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 will not be needed because we can see historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
 by using a
computer
Use synonyms
 and the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
 historical
objects
Use synonyms
 and
works
Use synonyms
 of
art
Use synonyms
 by using a
computer
Use synonyms
 and the
Internet
Use synonyms
 can bring many benefits including,
free
Add a missing verb
being free
show examples
 or affordable ,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government funding for
museums
Use synonyms
 and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
, eco-friendly.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual tours
  • digital archives
  • art appreciation
  • cultural heritage
  • historical objects
  • curating artifacts
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • tangible experience
  • technological advancements
  • cultural institutions
  • accessibility
  • authenticity
  • immersive experience
  • civic engagement
  • cultural enrichment
  • educational outreach
  • visitor engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: