IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The flow chart shows 'trampling', the negative effect of tourists walking in the countryside for the environment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

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The flow chart provides information about the consequences of one disadvantage in the green areas
that
Linking Words
is made
Correct subject-verb agreement
are visited
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 by tourists
while
Linking Words
 they are going through
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, trampling has a negative effect not only
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
plants
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
soil
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the erosion and decline
quality
Change preposition
in the quality
show examples
 of
soil
Use synonyms
 and
vegetation
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
begins
Correct subject-verb agreement
begin
show examples
 with a huge number of people in the countryside.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, trampling has two more effects.The first is
vegetation
Use synonyms
 damaged, that make
plants
Use synonyms
 become weaker, or
plants
Use synonyms
 do not reproduce and grow at all. The second effect is that
Use synonyms
soil
Correct article usage
the soil
show examples
compacted and it becomes
Correct word order
becomes compacted and
show examples
 hard underfoot.
This
Linking Words
 contributes
worsening
Change preposition
to worsening
show examples
 the
soil
Use synonyms
 composition ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
Linking Words
 doesn’t give a possibility for
plants
Use synonyms
 to reproduce and grow .
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 increasing erosion or water
runs
Wrong verb form
running
show examples
 off the land, which
also
Linking Words
 contributes to reducing
vegetation
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the result of all these impacts is that the erosion goes up,
in contrast
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 quality of
soil
Use synonyms
 and
vegetation
Use synonyms
 slumps.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words plants, soil, vegetation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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