IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.
The first diagram illustrates the distribution of global
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 the bar chart represents the
use
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 of
water
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 in three different countries (Egypt, Saudi, and Canada) in three different sectors (
agriculture
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 domestic, and
industry
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)
Overall
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, the source of all
water
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 is salt
water
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, and the main source of freshwater is ice & glaciers. Canada mainly uses
water
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 for
industry
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 Saudi and Egypt
use
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water
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 mainly for
agriculture
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. The first pie chart shows that 97% of the
water
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 in the world is saltwater compare to 3% of freshwater. In the second pie chart, it can be noted that
water
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 from ice and glaciers is about 79% of
freshwaterwater
Correct your spelling
freshwater water
fresh water water
 compared to groundwater and surface
water
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 (20% and 1% respectively). In terms of the
use
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 of
water
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, Canada uses most of its
water
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 in
industry
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 which is almost 80% compared to
agriculture
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 and domestic. Both Egypt and Saudi Arabia
use
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water
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 most of their
water
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 in
agriculture
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 compared to domestic and
industry
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 which was about 15 and 10% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, agriculture, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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