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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #beings #people #trend #development #points
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Nowadays,many scientists
computer
Use synonyms
intelligence
Use synonyms
also
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 known as artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 is developing at a very fast rate so opinions are divided on some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that it is a positive trend.
Linking Words
besides
Capitalize word
Besides
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 that,other
people
Use synonyms
 think that when
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 become more intelligent than human beings is a negative
development
Use synonyms
.
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although
Capitalize word
Although
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 it
is bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 many good improvements to society,it is a fundamentally gloomy
development
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. Admittedly,there are many advantages
when
Correct word choice
that
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
intelligence
Use synonyms
developing
Replace the word
development
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 brings.
one
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One
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 of the most crucial
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 is automation which refers to using
machine
Add an article
a machine
the machine
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 to do more
human’s
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human
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 work and control operations without human intervention so it
help
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helps
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 companies save
times
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time
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 and human resources.
on
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On
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 the opposite side ,it consumes a lot of electricity and money but it
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 higher productivity and
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more profit.
Linking Words
besides
Capitalize word
Besides
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 that,it supports human in creating
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dense information networks like CHAT GPT which is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 is
combined
Wrong verb form
combines
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 knowledge from different websites and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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answer any question which human ask if it has enough knowledge.
On the other hand
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,it will be a negative trend if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 do not control the
development
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 of artificial
intelligence
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,which
makes
Verb problem
causes
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 a lot of problems.
the
Capitalize word
The
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 first
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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 is that when
people
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 depend too much on
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,they will be lazy and passive because all
work
Correct article usage
the work
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 is done by computers,robots and
human
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humans
show examples
 can
lost
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lose
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 creativity when
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
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 help them think.
Linking Words
besides
Capitalize word
Besides
show examples
 that,when
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 or robot has many errors that
people
Use synonyms
 cannot detect in time and will affect product quality or have to
Correct your spelling
stop
spop
Correct your spelling
split
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 line . In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
development
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 of
computer
Use synonyms
intelligence
Use synonyms
 has many advantages
such
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 as
save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 time and resources for many companies and
atomation
Correct your spelling
automation
, I believe that if artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
 is smarter than human beings,it will bring more problems than
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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