Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affectedthe types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #affectedthe #relationships #become #development

Nowadays

technology

is doing everything

instead

people

. And, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

right now

writing

Wrong verb form

write

show examples

massages

Correct your spelling

messages

show examples

with each

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

using cellphones

such

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apply

show examples

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

snapchat

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Snapchat

show examples

and

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

However

, social media now can do problems between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

. I would like to discuss it

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show examples

the following paragraphs.

Firstly

this

generation is not the same as before.

For example

, Sara posts a picture to tempt her

friends

to let them be angry, or

sharing

Wrong verb form

show examples

a video that she met a famous player. And,

this

had

became

Change the form of the verb

become

show examples

a negative condition.

Moreover

, some

people

create a love story between two of them on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media without meeting in real life. Often,

people

believe each other but one of them maybe will be a stranger to find a way to steal her or his information to start tracking her or him in real life.

Secondly

, in the

past

Add a comma

,past

show examples

we have to

visits

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

every Friday and Saturday but now we send each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

massages

instead

This

makes

a weak relationships

Correct the article-noun agreement

weak relationships

a weak relationship

show examples

also

Furthermore

, some of the jobs

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online, so they stay at home without having

friends

Finally

, we must live the same as past and just imagine that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

disappeared so we wouldn't lose

friends

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. In conclusion,

technology

with its modern characteristics is creating an illusion to connect

people

nevertheless

it is actually impacting

people

's lives adversely. And we can try our best to don't let

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

cover our

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

friends

, family, and the

important

Change the word

importantly

show examples

thing our

trusts

Fix the agreement mistake

trust

show examples

Submitted by hamoudisayyah on Thu Jul 27 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affectedthe types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.