IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Several
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 impose
fees
Use synonyms
 for entry
whereas
Linking Words
 others are free.
Although
Linking Words
 charging
people
Use synonyms
 for
admission
Use synonyms
 to
museums
Use synonyms
 can bring
downsieds
Correct your spelling
downsides
downside
 namely,
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
, I believe the merits of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
 because
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
fees
Use synonyms
 can support the budget of
museums
Use synonyms
 , and
also
Linking Words
 make
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 less crowded. On the one hand, the primary drawback of
impose
Change the verb form
imposing
show examples
 entry
fees
Use synonyms
 for
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 is
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
nunmber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, the cost of
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
 around the world has become extremely expensive ,which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not have enough money to pay for
fees
Use synonyms
 in order to enter
exhibitions
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 lose
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to learn about their culture and heritage via
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
exhibitions
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would like to argue the benefits of charging
people
Use synonyms
 for
admission
Use synonyms
 to
museums
Use synonyms
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. The first advantage,
earn
Wrong verb form
earning
show examples
fees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
admission
Change preposition
for admission
show examples
 from
people
Use synonyms
 can support the budget of
museums
Use synonyms
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 the
museums
Use synonyms
 will able to pay for their staff and maintenance cost.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 can use these funds in order to make improvements in
museum
Use synonyms
 buildings, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
attract
Change the verb form
attracting
show examples
 many tourists
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry mean boosts the economy of the country. The second advantage of
impose
Change the verb form
imposing
show examples
fees
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
admission
Change preposition
for admission
show examples
 to
museums
Use synonyms
 is
make
Change the verb form
to make
making
show examples
 the
museums
Use synonyms
 less crowded.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the
museums
Use synonyms
 become less crowded mean the high quality of services will provide for
visitoers
Correct your spelling
visitors
, which means
visitors
Use synonyms
 will become more satisfied
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 of visiting
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
 charging
people
Use synonyms
 for
admission
Use synonyms
 to
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 can bring drawbacks namely,
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 percentage of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
, I think the upsides of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
 because
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
Use synonyms
fees
Change the noun form
fee
show examples
Use synonyms
admission
Change preposition
for admission
show examples
 can support the budget of
exhibitions
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 make
exhibitions
Use synonyms
 less crowded.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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