IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people say that globalization and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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In recent years, globalization and multinational
companies
Use synonyms
 have grown rapidly, and some people argue that they have drawbacks for the
environment
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. I entirely agree with
this
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 statement
due to
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 the increasing amount of
gas
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emissions
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 and decreasing green spaces that I will discuss in
this
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 essay.
First,
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the growth of globalization makes it easier for people to travel anywhere and anytime;
however
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, it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
environment
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due to
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 the increasing amount of
gas
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emissions
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. Most people prefer to commute by using their private vehicles or an
airplane
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aeroplane
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 if they go aboard.
As a consequence
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, using those transport modes can result in
gas
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emissions
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, which can destroy our
environment
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.
For example
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, the top executive managers in big
companies
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 who have several offices in different
countries
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 will use
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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 and private cars when they have meeting agendas in different locations. These vehicles produce much more
gas
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emissions
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 when they travel frequently, which will affect our
environment
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.
Furthermore
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, the expansion of multinational
companies
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also
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 has an effect on the
environment
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, especially our green spaces, which are decreasing. When multinational
companies
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will
Verb problem
apply
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expand their businesses or factories in other places, it directly affects the green ecosystem
environment
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, which is decreasing in forest and woodland areas. The natural balance is
also
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 disturbed.
For instance
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, Nestle company has several branch offices and factories in various
countries
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, and
this
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 takes up a lot of land in many
countries
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.
As a result
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, green spaces are decreasing as
this
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 company continues to expand its businesses and factories in other
countries
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. In conclusion, I believe that globalization and the increasing number of multinational
companies
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 have a negative effect on the
environment
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due to
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 the fact that increasing
gas
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emissions
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 and green space issues.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are supported and developed effectively throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples to support the position.
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