Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Music,
art
, and drama are deemed by some to be of the same importance as other subjects, particularly in primary
school
.
This
essay agrees with the statement because these subjects have a tremendous impact on students’ creativity at
this
age, and they might help some to choose a career path. The inclusion of fine
art
in the primary
school
curriculum positively affects pupils' creative thinking. During these classes, not only do students have an opportunity to paint, sing or act, but
also
their creativity is challenged.
This
is because one correct outcome does not exist when painting or playing an instrument;
thus
, students discover that engagement in music,
art
, and drama offers them a plethora of ways of expressing themselves. In Scandinavia,
for example
, where primary schools offer a sound number of these types of classes, young people demonstrate an outstanding ability to be creative, which
reflects
Wrong verb form
is reflected
show examples
in a number of designers and architects coming from
this
region. Having an opportunity to participate in music,
art
, and drama classes could potentially help some youngsters figure out what they are really passionate about.
As a result
,
this
passion could turn into a career path. Should primary
school
offer frequent exposure to fine
art
,
then
it could create
empowering
Correct article usage
an empowering
show examples
atmosphere, where pupils feel encouraged to believe that they can become artists. To illustrate, most of the famous artists decided to pursue
this
type of career
due to
a primary
school
teacher who awoke
this
interest in them. In conclusion, I personally agree with the belief that the importance of fine
art
at the primary level of education is equal to other subjects because it stimulates creativity, and in some cases, empowers youth to become painters, sculptors, or actors.
Submitted by yavari1993 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on supporting the main points and use linking words to connect the ideas more effectively.
task response
Your arguments are mostly relevant to the topic and support your position well. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in detail to improve your score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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