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The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.
#show #results #survey #exercise #objectives #locations #group #adults #years #age
The charts depict the outcomes of a study of the initial workout objectives and locations of two selected groups of grown-ups aged from 20 to 50.
Overall
,
due to
 the examination, gaining achievement at work is the most preferable choice to be happy for both age groups. Since the least number of humankind feel happy for other factors. At the outset,
people
 who thought obtaining achievement at work
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 the
upmost
Correct your spelling
utmost
show examples
 reason to feel happy, showed almost the same result regardless of their age(31-32%).
Furthermore
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
people
 who tend to be happy
by
Change preposition
apply
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doing hobbies was 2% more than young adults(22%).
On the other hand
, 15% of
people
 who are in their 20s, tend to spend their time
on
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apply
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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,
while
 14% of adults over 30 prefer to come
together with
 their family.
In addition
, 18% of adults under 20, feel a sense of joy with having a good appearance,
while
 20% of full-grown
people
 had chosen financial security as a foremost reason to feel favoured.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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