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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the best way to travel within a city is by car. Others believe it is best to travel by bicycle. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #travel #city #car #bicycle
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Nowadays, everyone has their personal
cars
Use synonyms
 and they
use
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for transportation purposes. Even they need to go anywhere in the
city
Use synonyms
. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
 is getting declined. Some argue that, using
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 as
mode
Add an article
a mode
show examples
 of
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is best for travelling within
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
. But, others argue cycling is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 option for travelling. I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we should
use
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 for going anywhere within the
city
Use synonyms
. And in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 shall discuss its benefits as well. There are umpteen reasons to argue that
Use synonyms
bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 mode of transportation for
city
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
cycling
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 physical fitness. So,
instead
Linking Words
 of using
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 for going
anywhere
Add a comma
,anywhere
show examples
 it is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 option to consider. And by using it you can achieve two tasks at once, you could reach
desired
Correct pronoun usage
your desired
show examples
 destination and you do not need to spare some time for
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 bicycling is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 good physical
excersion
Correct your spelling
excursion
exertion
 for cardio.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are pressing issues of
pollution
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such
Linking Words
 as, air
pollution
Use synonyms
 is increasing, because of burning
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel for running
cars
Use synonyms
. So,
instead
Linking Words
 of burning fuel for one individual,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a bycycle
show examples
bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 alternative.
Use synonyms
Bycycle
Correct your spelling
Bicycle
 does not
required
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 any fuel,
therefore
Linking Words
, there will be no air
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it is cheap so, it is beneficial for
pocket
Add an article
the pocket
a pocket
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, too many
cars
Use synonyms
 can
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 parking facilities and sometimes people park their
cars
Use synonyms
 on
roadside
Add an article
the roadside
show examples
. And that will create traffic congestion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cycle
Add an article
the cycle
show examples
 does not
required
Change the verb form
require
show examples
 any of these, it can be fit in
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 space as well. To recapitulate,
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
,
cars
Use synonyms
 provide
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 to people
while
Linking Words
 travelling and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be used for
longer
Add an article
a longer
the longer
show examples
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
. But,
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 around
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 area,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not
viable
Add an article
a viable
show examples
 option. So,
to reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of
pollution
Use synonyms
 and congestion in cities
Use synonyms
bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 is more efficient.
Submitted by merchantnishith on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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