IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph gives information about the consumption of fast food (in grams per week), in the UK from 1970 to 1990.

The graph gives information about the consumption of fast food (in grams per week), in the UK from 1970 to 1990.
#information #consumption #food #grams #week #uk
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This
Linking Words
 graph looks at the volume of fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption from 1970 to 1990. Tree
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
 of junk
food
Use synonyms
 are presented here.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the upward trend can be seen for hamburgers and fish and chips samples during the 20
years
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the mass of pizza
consumpts
Correct your spelling
consumption
 per week decreases in the first fifteen
years
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, and
then
Linking Words
 slightly increases from
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1985 to 1990. The presented graph
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
show examples
 the contrast
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the consumption
junk
Change preposition
of junk
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the amount of hamburgers becomes more than sixth as many in twenty
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar picture can be observed for the fish and
ships
Correct your spelling
chips
show examples
 category,
this
Linking Words
 sample rose more than
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five times.
Above all
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type is much more popular in 1990 compared to others - the
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 is about 500 grams per week. To summarize, the average amount of fast
food
Use synonyms
 has risen through all these
years
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the most unpopular type of
food
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 in 1990 is pizza, but in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970 it has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advance
above all
Linking Words
 others.
Submitted by li_istomina on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "above all".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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