Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

It is sometimes argued that the person who has been in prison is the optimal choice for persuading

teenagers

to avoid committing a crime.In my view,I believe their experience could be a vivid course for

teenagers

however

, there are several alternatives that might

also

be efficient. There are several reasons argued why they are fit for

this

position.

Firstly

, they have experienced the life

that

Correct determiner usage

show examples

loss of freedom, so they know the price for illegal behaviour.

Moreover

, they might have similar experiences with “naughty”

teenagers

so they can know what they are thinking about and give them relevant advice.

However

, I would argue that there are several alternatives that can reach equal effects and

also

eliminate the potential dangers. First of all, it is true that their experiences can warn

teenagers

but I think with the development of social media, we can

also

play the recording to

teenagers

rather than in person.

This

can definitely guarantee the safety of students.

For example

, years before a murder in Norway

shoot

Wrong verb form

shot

show examples

80 kids and he will be released in 20 years.I don’t think we should offer him an opportunity to talk with youth again because it will increase the potential danger for our students.

Furthermore

, we can not deny the existence of an anti-social personality. Some of them are born with

this

personality, and children will only learn anti-social thought

instead

of the penalty for the crime. In conclusion,I deem that the experience of

ex-prisoner

Fix the agreement mistake

ex-prisoners

show examples

can warn

youth

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

people to avoid committing a crime,but it sometimes has some potential disadvantages,we should use some alternative methods to teach them

instead

of a face-to-face meeting.

Submitted by hanyuan.zhang on Fri Jul 28 2023

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task response

Provide more supporting details and examples to strengthen your main points.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas and arguments in a more logical and cohesive manner.

lexical resource

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately and effectively.

grammatical range

Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and grammatical forms to enhance the complexity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that in all levels of educations, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

planting trees is very important for the environment .some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns while other believes housing facilities should be built instead do you agree or disagree?

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why is this? What is an effective way to improve people's healthy eating habits?

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.