Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?
Some individuals think that
entertainers
(e.g. film stars, pop musicians or athletes stars) are paid too much money
. I totally agree with this
statement because paid
too much Wrong verb form
paying
money
for entertainers
is waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
. I believe the professional occupation namely, medical staff
, techers
should be highly paid.
On the one hand, I completely Correct your spelling
teachers
I
agree Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
Correct your spelling
that
paid
too much for Wrong verb form
paying
entertainers
is waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
. This
is because entertainers
do not provide vital services to society. For example
, athletes stars namely, Ronaldo, and Messi earn a huge amount of money
only for simple
Add an article
a simple
the simple
kick
of Replace the word
kicking
ball
. Add an article
the ball
a ball
Furthermore
, paid
too much for entertainer can encourage students to enter Wrong verb form
paying
entertainment
field in universities , which mean in future we face problems Correct article usage
the entertainment
of
Change preposition
with
lack
of professional people in crucial majors namely, medicine, engineering, Correct article usage
a lack
law
. Correct word choice
and law
Therefore
, I believe the governments should introduce law
in Fix the agreement mistake
laws
order
to set limits of
Change preposition
on
entertainers
Change noun form
entertainers'
entertainer's
salaries
.
On the other hand
, I believe medical
Add an article
the medical
staff
and teachers
should have a wages
Correct the article-noun agreement
wages
a wage
on
society. Regarding medical Change preposition
in
staff
, medical staff
plays is key
role in our community Add an article
a key
to fight
diseases. Change the verb form
fighting
For example
, when the Covid-19 pandemic started doctors and nurses work
hard in Wrong verb form
worked
order
to cure and preven
people to get Correct your spelling
prevent
this
virus, which mean those medical staff
worth
high Add a missing verb
were worth
salaries
. When it comes to teachers
, teachers
shape future
of Correct article usage
the future
million
of students worldwide. To illustrate, Correct your spelling
millions
teachers
in school teach the students discipline and moral
in Fix the agreement mistake
morals
order
make
pupils Fix the infinitive
to make
a good citizens
. Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
Furthermore
, teachers
educate children a
wide range of subjects in Change preposition
in a
order
to increase their knowledge , which mean
Change the verb form
means
teachers
prepare children to serve society.
To sum up
, I strongly believe entertainers
do not merit too much
Change the quantifier
many
salaries
becaue
they do not offer necessary services to Correct your spelling
because
community
. I believe the Add an article
the community
medial
Correct your spelling
medical
staff
and teachers
should be high salaries
because they provdie
invaluable services to Correct your spelling
provide
scoiety
.Correct your spelling
society
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite