IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 7.5 large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money #company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

#ielts #correction #service #samples #band #company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Dear Sir or Madam, The purpose of writing

this

letter today is to express my opinion about the spending options for the local community that you provided in a local newsletter. I am positive that sponsoring the team of local children is way more beneficial as compared to the other one in terms of a better future opportunity. Considering sports activities,which will encourage the players to polish their skills and spend more

time

on outdoor activities . Eventually, it will reduce their screen

time

as well as

drug usage ;

hence

,these steps motivate other people to participate in outdoor activities too. Eventually,it helps in the

overall

growth of youngsters. Given the hectic schedule,

however

, an open-air concert will provide a chance for elder people to relish their free

time

with their families .

Although

It is a great opportunity to refresh the boring life of the local people,

otherwise

,they spend their

time

off at television. I am looking forward to seeing how my suggestions translate into prompt actions.

Furthermore

, your kind cooperation would be greatly appreciated. Yours sincerely, Sukhwinder

Submitted by ranusukh77 on Sat Jul 29 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

176 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Many people nowadays decide not to work for a large company but to become self-employed. What problems might this decision cause? What can they do to solve these problems?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

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There have been some problems with public transport in your area recently. Write a letter to the manager of the transport company. In your letter: Describe the problems. Explain how these problems are affecting the public. Suggest some changes that could be made

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.