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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.
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The line graph illustrates the ratio of tourists to England who preferred to visit the
Art
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Gallery
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,
Pavillion
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,
Pier
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 or Festival in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, all four attractions experienced fluctuations throughout the period.
Pier
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 and
Pavillion
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 completed the period at a higher rate than the beginning,
while
Linking Words
Art
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Gallery
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 and Festival had a lower percentage. Between 1980 and 1995, the percentage of visitors to the
Pavillion
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 rose sharply from around 24% to a high
point
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 of merely 48%
while
Linking Words
 the Festival experienced a slight fall from %30 to approximately 25%. The
Art
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Gallery
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 had rapid variations till 1990 and almost remained the same for the subsequent 5 years at the
point
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 of 20%, in comparison
Pier
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 had slighter fluctuations and changed around the 12% until the year 1995. After 1995,
Pavillion
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's popularity decreased dramatically to one-third
while
Linking Words
 still remaining the most popular option in Brighton. The ratio of Festival had a gradual growth to merely 27% which makes the place the second most popular attraction. Following that,
Pier
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 experienced an upward trend till 2010 and outraced the
point
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 of 20%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Art
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Gallery
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 which ended up at the low
point
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 of approximately 8%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery, pavillion, pier, point with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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