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Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be the compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programmes
Making young students part of unpaid
community
 service programmes could
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 in their development and many believe that it should be made
compulsory
Add an article
a compulsory
show examples
 part of the high school
cariculm
Correct your spelling
curriculum
. I agree to the said
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 and in the following
passage
Add a comma
,passage
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 I will state my reasons for the same.
To begin
 with,
community
 service
wather
Correct your spelling
whether
 paid or free is a great source of learning for all and importantly for students as it not only teaches
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of responsibility but it may
also
 help
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
 to acquire many new skills.
For example
, in Japan all school children are engaged in
community
 cleaning services,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them aware of the importance of cleanliness for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
This
 is the reason, why Japan even after being a small nation is one of the top economies of the world.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, in
Sweden
Add a comma
,Sweden
show examples
 all the students after
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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 10th and 12th are made to serve the country in
armed
Correct article usage
the armed
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 forces. Young people are not sent
on
Change preposition
to
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 the war front but are mostly given
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tasks involving social work.
For instance
, the projects that are assigned are cleaning, plantation,
paramedics
Correct word choice
and paramedics
show examples
 to name a few,
this
 not only helps them to attain new skills but
also
 fills them with the sense of duty that they have towards society and the same is reflected in the adults. As
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proof you can see that
sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
 is one of the top three happiest
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
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 in the world and it is amongst the top economically strong countries
of
Change preposition
in
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 the world. To
conclue
Correct your spelling
conclude
, It will be a great addition to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school studies for the
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 and upliftment of the learners
as well as
 the society and nation as a whole to employ learners in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid
community
 service programmes.
Submitted by iamsyedahad on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community services
  • valuable learning experiences
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • personal growth
  • character development
  • positive impacts
  • local communities
  • society
  • undermine
  • purpose
  • effectiveness
What to do next:
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