IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #smoke #places #people
Nowadays, In many countries around the world
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is illegal to smoke in public places,
So that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
people
 who want to smoke should have to leave the building. I am going to give my opinion about
this
 . I agree with
this
 regulation, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
promoted
Wrong verb form
promotes
show examples
 one of the worst habits, at our current age, First of all, when
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
in public spaces watch many
people
 smoking without any problems and no one can reject them, as
Correct article usage
a results
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
of
this
 , when they grow they will smoke and maybe take something worse. Second, many
people
hated
Wrong verb form
hate
show examples
smell
Add an article
the smell
show examples
 of smoking,
Also
, some
people
 have breathing issues and are sick so that smell will make them worse. These reasons are on the scale of society.
Moreover
 , If we study the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 of smoking
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a personal scale, it is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body and it is
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most reason for death, as a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
 of the Health Ministry of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Saudi Arabia, that smoking kills more than 1000
people
 every year, and it is an increase the percentage To getting Cancer in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 part of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body, and
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 reduce the sexual ability in both male and females,
In addition
, in economic
sideit
Correct your spelling
side it
side
is take
Change the verb form
is taken
is taking
show examples
 a huge part of the salary and personal income. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 For these reasons, I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 regulation, and I would from the government to
crate
Verb problem
impose
show examples
more punishment
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
,
Also
 to increase taxes
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all smoking
industries
Change the noun form
industry
show examples
 companies. To reduce
this
 bad habit from
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 future.
Submitted by arch.altalhi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!