The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below shows the most important seven stages of producing
honey
by
bees
. It begins
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
bees
building a hive and
then
finishes when the
honey
is ready to be collected and used.
Firstly
, the
bees
build a container it’s the place where the
bees
live, and it’s called a hive.
Secondly
, the
bees
search for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flowers. When they find a suitable flower, they start collecting the sweet liquid produced by flowers which is used to make the
honey
, it’s called nectar. The
bees
take the nectar back to the hive where the process starts.
Firstly
, they put it into the cells.
Then
the
bees
fan the nectar
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
their wings, so it becomes cooler.
Then
the water loses its water and
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
to become a gas in a process called water evaporation.
As a result
, the
honey
is produced and ready to be collected and used after seven stages.
Submitted by adelsot2005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Metamorphosis
  • Nectar
  • Foraging
  • Pollination
  • Worker bees
  • House bees
  • Honey stomach
  • Honeycomb cells
  • Beeswax
  • Evaporation
  • Hexagon-shaped
  • Simple sugars
  • Enzymes
  • Capping
  • Preserve
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