The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below shows the most important seven stages of producing
honey
by bees
. It begins by
the Change preposition
with
bees
building a hive and then
finishes when the honey
is ready to be collected and used.
Firstly
, the bees
build a container it’s the place where the bees
live, and it’s called a hive. Secondly
, the bees
search for the
flowers. When they find a suitable flower, they start collecting the sweet liquid produced by flowers which is used to make the Correct article usage
apply
honey
, it’s called nectar.
The bees
take the nectar back to the hive where the process starts. Firstly
, they put it into the cells. Then
the bees
fan the nectar by
their wings, so it becomes cooler. Change preposition
with
Then
the water loses its water and turn
to become a gas in a process called water evaporation. Change the verb form
turns
As a result
, the honey
is produced and ready to be collected and used after seven stages.Submitted by adelsot2005 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "firstly".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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