IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g.: goods, services, news) Why is this? It is positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #services #news #development
In today's rapidly evolving world, there is a growing desire among individuals to accomplish tasks with swiftness, enabling them to allocate their
time
 towards other problems. In my opinion,
this
 phenomenon has two faces which are positive and negative ones.
The first
Correct article usage
First
show examples
 and foremost, the positive face is saving
time
. It can be understandable that if
people
 have done some
things
 quickly, they might spend the remaining
time
 doing others.
For example
,
instead
 of spending hours on traditional shopping, some e-commerce apps may help
people
 buy some goods immediately.
Secondly
, improving critical thinking is a second positive development. To explain, when some individuals want
things
 instantly, certainly, they will have made some mistakes,
therefore
, if having a thoughtful opinion, they might not make any faults.
On the other hand
, because of immediacy, the happen takes a toll on each individual's budget. It means spending more money to get
things
 as fast as possible.
For instance
, some
people
 buy some goods on online apps, and
instead
 of waiting for a few days, they pay double the delivery cost to have it directly. In conclusion, because of allocating
time
, many
people
 would like to get
things
 done swiftly. Personally, I think
this
occur
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is both
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 and negative development which is saving
time
 and wasting money respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your points. For instance, mentioning specific apps or services could help clarify your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and use linking words to better connect your ideas. This can help improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to provide a more comprehensive summary of your arguments and reinforce your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument clearly.
task achievement
You have identified both positive and negative aspects of the issue, showing a balanced understanding.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases such as "The first and foremost" and "On the other hand" improves the flow of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant gratification
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer expectations
  • Same-day delivery
  • Streaming platforms
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Environmental implications
  • Societal implications
  • Resource depletion
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer satisfaction
  • Quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: