In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women doing work?
In the current century, many
female
have come out of their house to become what we call working Change to a plural noun
females
women
. Although
the
working Correct article usage
apply
women
can bring benefits namely, contribute
to Wrong verb form
contributing
economy
of Add an article
the economy
country
, I believe the demerits of working Add an article
the country
a country
women
outweigh merits
because working Correct article usage
the merits
women
are more vulnerable to harassment work places
and they are more likely to neglect their familiesCorrect your spelling
workplaces
..
On the one hand, the primary benefit of working Replace the punctuation
.
...
women
is enhance
Fix the infinitive
to enhance
economy
of Add an article
the economy
country
. Add an article
the country
a country
This
is because engage
female Wrong verb form
engaging
on
Change preposition
in
job
market mean more workforce Correct article usage
the job
avaliable
. Correct your spelling
available
Therefore
, more workforce mean
more taxes the government can earn via people. Change the verb form
means
Furthermore
, women
working can provide a better live
for their Replace the word
life
children
. To illustrate, women
will have more money can spend in
their Change preposition
on
children
namely, education, healthcare, and games, which this
can enhance the quality of Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change noun form
childern's
childern
live .
Correct your spelling
children
On the other hand
, I would like to argue the drawbacks of working working
Remove the redundancy
apply
women
significantly
more than Add a missing verb
are significantly
advantages
. The primary drawback Correct article usage
the advantages
women
who involved
in Add a missing verb
are involved
job
market are more vulnerable to Add an article
the job
become
victims of harassment from their colleagues or manager. Wrong verb form
becoming
Consequently
, working women
will become are
more likely to get Unnecessary verb
apply
metnal
health issues Correct your spelling
mental
such
as,
depression, anxiety, and Remove the comma
apply
stree
, which Correct your spelling
stress
this
can have a negative Correct pronoun usage
apply
impacts
on Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
productivity
of working Add an article
the productivity
women
. The second drawback of working women
is neglect their
Change preposition
of their
children
. This
is because working women
do not have enough time to spend with their children
. As a result
, children
are more
more likely to struggle mentally because no one Change the word
apply
look
after them.
Change the verb form
looks
To sum up
, Although
the
working Correct article usage
apply
women
can bring upsides namely, boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
economy
of Add an article
the economy
country
, I think the downsides of working Add an article
the country
a country
women
outweigh benefits
because working Correct article usage
the benefits
women
are more vulnerable to harassment in workplaces and they are more likely to neglect their families.Submitted by faiz3177 on
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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