In the 21st century, many women have come out of their home to become what we call working women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of women doing work?

In the current century, many
female
Change to a plural noun
females
show examples
have come out of their house to become what we call working
women
.
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working
women
can bring benefits namely,
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of
country
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the country
a country
show examples
, I believe the demerits of working
women
outweigh
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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because working
women
are more vulnerable to harassment
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
and they are more likely to neglect their families
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
On the one hand, the primary benefit of working
women
is
enhance
Fix the infinitive
to enhance
show examples
economy
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the economy
show examples
of
country
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the country
a country
show examples
.
This
is because
engage
Wrong verb form
engaging
show examples
female
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
market mean more workforce
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
.
Therefore
, more workforce
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
more taxes the government can earn via people.
Furthermore
,
women
working can provide a better
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
for their
children
. To illustrate,
women
will have more money can spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
children
namely, education, healthcare, and games, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can enhance the quality of
Change noun form
childern's
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childern
Correct your spelling
children
live .
On the other hand
, I would like to argue the drawbacks of working
working
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
women
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
more than
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
. The primary drawback
women
who
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
market are more vulnerable to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
victims of harassment from their colleagues or manager.
Consequently
, working
women
will become
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to get
metnal
Correct your spelling
mental
health issues
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
depression, anxiety, and
stree
Correct your spelling
stress
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can have a negative
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
show examples
on
productivity
Add an article
the productivity
show examples
of working
women
. The second drawback of working
women
is neglect
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
children
.
This
is because working
women
do not have enough time to spend with their
children
.
As a result
,
children
are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
more likely to struggle mentally because no one
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
after them.
To sum up
,
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working
women
can bring upsides namely,
boosts
Wrong verb form
boosting
show examples
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
, I think the downsides of working
women
outweigh
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
because working
women
are more vulnerable to harassment in workplaces and they are more likely to neglect their families.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic independence
  • Workforce
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Innovation
  • Dual-income
  • Work-life balance
  • Gender pay gap
  • Glass ceiling
  • Stress management
  • Traditional family roles
  • Dual burden
  • Career progression
  • Professional opportunities
  • Financial stability
  • Empowerment
  • Child-rearing
  • Societal expectations
  • Maternity leave
  • Gender roles
  • Occupational segregation
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